creative

i had a creative burst today, got a ton of writing done . (mostly poems) here is the first poem i wrote - (this is what i do in chemistry... and yet i still have perfect notes though. total WIN for me!)
UNWRITTEN
I would write you a line
or a hundred
or a thousand
as many as you would like
with lovely words
with sweetest thoughts
my feelings in a poem for you
or in a song
or in a story
my innermost thoughts laid bare
my gently whispered words
my well kept secrets
i would give them all to you
----------------------------------------
SO....its not my best, but i like it even if it makes me seem like a little romantic. :)

the process

im gonna go ahead and show yall (whoever decides to look at this...prolly no one at all but oh well) the process of my art work. usually i start with a picture of the outline or skeleton then follow with pictures of the shading and then the finished product. this particular picture was a senior graduation present for a cousin of mine.

normally i'd have a picture of the full outline but i had already started when i remembered to take a photo so here you can see how the eyes begin. 

with the eyes finished (for now) i can show the entire face and its outline. 

(*note! i did this very backwards, i should've started by laying a base shade for the flesh but i was hasty and went straight to my favorite part) 

a close up of the eyes :)

here, i've most of the detail in the face. clearly, i can't draw lips all that amazingly...i'm working on it though xD

anyway! i have the nose and eyebrows and ear finished, even added a little earring (the first detail!!!) 

now i'm done with the flesh and face and what not..or so i thought

a close up of the finished face and hair

before, i thought i was finished but i decided to stick to my latest obsession, flowers. so i added a bouquet in her hands and gave the hair a bit more color and detail. my hands need some work, they look kind of frumpy :/

and here is a close up of the final products hands and face. 

oki doki! this post is finished! thanks for reading!!!

recent update on my artwork

so the school year has finally come to a closing and my art classes are complete. these are the few things i did in my second half of art honors. :D

abstract painting for honors

value scale for honors

color scheme painting (took all 9 weeks of the second quarter)

ANDDDD thats all folks. ill be posting more artwork later. i also will begin selling some artwork within the next month or two. :P

meghan

monday, april 18 2011 is my friend meghan's birthday. her party is today, saturday, the 16. part of her birthday present is a picture i drew for her. soo...here it is.

art 2

my latest work of art....i call it...THE WORLD'S MOST AWKWARD BABY

and thats all folks!! 

daily life and random thoughts....RAMEN EDITION!

so.....lets talk about ramen.
r.a.m.e.n.
traditional japanese food, really fattening, really tasty.
my new after work meal
hahaha. ramen. its really good stuff. i mean, its so good that there is a museum dedicated to ramen!
lol below is the clip from wiki :)

Shin-Yokohama Raumen Museum

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

This article includes a list of references, related reading or external links, but its sources remain unclear because it lacks inline citations. Please improve this article by introducing more precise citationswhere appropriate. (December 2010)

Ramen stands in the lower-level of the museum

The Shin-Yokohama Raumen Museum (新横浜ラーメン博物館 Shin-Yokohama Rāmen Hakubutsukan^?) is a food amusement park located in the Shin-Yokohama district of Kōhoku-ku, Yokohama, Japan. (The "u" in "Raumen", referring to ramen, is intentionally spelled that way.)

The museum is devoted to the Japanese ramen noodle soup and features a large recreation ofTokyo in the year Shōwa 33 (1958), the year instant noodles were invented. Within the museum are branches of famous ramen restaurants from Kyūshū to Hokkaidō. The current list includes Ide Shoten, Shinasobaya, Keyaki, Ryushanhai, Hachiya, Fukuchan, and Komurasaki, among others, but new ramen shops are being added.

Along with restaurants there is an old-style bar called 35 Knots, where visitors can smoke and a few other places to buy traditional snacks and food. On the ground floor level there is a souvenir shop selling ramen bowls, cooking utilities and instant-ramen packages.

The museum opened on March 3, 1994.

Ii mean, how great is that?! n look at this! 

look at  this! ramen cart! id kill to eat at one of these!!! xD

to most, this is what they think when they think "RAMEN" 

or this! 

JUST LOOK AT IT! MY MOUTH IS WATERING! 

on a cuter side, 

look at this! panda ramen! how great is that?

this one is probably one of the best! for real! hello kitty has her own ramen!!!! ahhh!!!!! :D

some other forms of ramen:

fun right!?!!! 

heres more! 

amazingly delicious lookin! huh huh!? 

ok. ssoooo....thats it....NOT! 

these are just some friggin cute ramen ive seen! lol some are related to ramen n not actually ramen. xD I just put em in because i love cute things. 

the yellow says "caution: highly addictive" 

ramen with egg....n its smiling at you!!! xD AHW!!!

its ramen....N ITS HAPPEH TO SEE YOU!!!

ok...so itsnot ramen...but its effin cute! :D

see, even little hamsters like ramen. :3 isnt it cute!

MORE HELLO KITTY RAMEN!
'nuff said. lol

ramen ring! xD i want one!

CMC. so that about finishes my daily life and random thoughts for the day....ramen edition. 

art

so, i have an obsession with these two korean pop stars, they go by T.O.P. and G-Dragon (G.D.)
as i am in art honors, one of the projects we had to do was a stippling project.
this is the actual image:

and here is my stippled one:

i am quite proud of this. and if this doesnt get me an A atleast (although A+ is preferred) then i think i might cry. lol. 

opinions of the picture are very welcome! please let me know what you think! 

little worker

once upon a time, a little girl sat at her desk, the sky spread out before her
so she stared into space, seeing but not seeing, her eyes blank
when suddenly a phone rang and brought her to attention
the sky shattered, the ringing grew louder
"buenas dias, como puedo audarte?"  she says into the receiver
""si....mhm....esta con un cliente, quieres dejar un mensaje?" she writes on the tablet, the message received
 she tears the note from the tablet and sticks it on her bosses desk
returning to her seat she falls back into her trance, watching as the sky replaces the chairs and windows of her office
.....
and so it goes, the life of the little worker

rambling.

sometimes i feel like im not functioning properly, like everything in me has just stopped. and then i forget everything and just watch whats going on around me. i know whats going on and i communicate fine, everything works, it just feels like it doesnt. im conscious of everything that i say and do but really cant control it like i normally do. when i get like this im violent, i snap at everyone even if i dont mean to, it just comes out. and when im alone i cant focus on much, i just sit and wait, for what i have no idea, but i wait. sometimes im scared, of something i just dont know what. i lie down and think, my mind buzzing but never staying on a single thought. 
i get the feeling of not really being here, like im looking at screen or picture. i feel lifeless and dont care about anything. i pass a lot of time like this. sometimes its just a little while, like and hour or two, but most of the time its  days at a time that i feel like this, it continues for months sometimes. 
   the hardest part of being like this, i think, is the fact that i want to care and i want to be energetic but i cant. so i end up alone in my room or with another person bringing them down with my crummy mood. the other hard part is waking up. it would be easier if i just wouldnt get up, even easier would be just not waking up. it would be better for everyone, they wouldnt have to deal with my crazy mood swings or horrible temper. 
  this subject never comes up around my parents, actually...i think its the first time i talk about it... i tried once, to talk about it that is, and got a great reply "get over it. you just have to make yourself get out of this rut"  some things can just go away, ive tried. 

i'll pretend the monsters under my bed arent real and that everything is nothing more than a dream. 

so it's tuesday, january 18 and ive finished my official second day of work!
yay me!
i figured i'd post since i havent posted over the past two or three days, so i guess i will continue on using this post as a sort of diary entry.
<3 <3 <3  <3       <3  <3  <3  <3
<3               <3<3                <3
<3                                      <3
 <3                                    <3
   <3                                <3
        <3                       <3      
            <3                <3
               <3          <3
                  <3   <3                  
hahaha. crack heart.
anywaysss.
ever heard of  Regina spektor? i love her. shes amazing. her voice is great and so is her piano.
ive currently fallen in love with her song Samson. its beautiful.
 here are the lyrics:
You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth
I have to go, I have to go
Your hair was long when we first met

Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
He ate a slice of wonder bread and went right back to bed
And history books forgot about us and the bible didn't mention us
And the bible didn't mention us, not even once

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the stars came fallin' on our heads
But they're just old light, they're just old light
Your hair was long when we first met

Samson came to my bed
Told me that my hair was red
Told me I was beautiful and came into my bed
Oh I cut his hair myself one night
A pair of dull scissors in the yellow light
And he told me that I'd done alright
And kissed me 'til the mornin' light, the mornin' light
And he kissed me 'til the mornin' light

Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
Ate a slice of wonderbread and went right back to bed
Oh, we couldn't bring the columns down
Yeah we couldn't destroy a single one
And history books forgot about us
And the bible didn't mention us, not even once

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first 


<3 <3 <3
here is the video- 

sooo now you know my current obsessively listened to song. 

and now how about i tell you about being "pitafied" (peet-ah-f-eyed)

while at work monday, happy late bday mr.king, my darling cousin and i ate lunch and shared a bag of m&m peanuts. and as she sat next to me, her fingers tapping against her keyboard, i took the massive piece of pita in  my hands and lifted my arm and brought the pita flying. it made contact with her cheek, making a small "paap" noise. i backed away, waiting to be assaulted by my cousin. the slapping never came, she turned to me and in all seriousness says "i can honestly say that i have NEVER been slapped in the face with a pita" 

the conversation ended there but i must say, that really did make my day. 

sonnet (older work)

last year i took a creative writing course in school, the first half consisted of writing short stories and learning terms for writing. the second half was all about poetry. we learned to write multiple types of poems but my absolute favorite was the last poem we wrote, the sonnet. i wrote multiple sonnets, and finally settled on one. 

Fire devours my entire being

You say it’s cause you love me

I’m clutching at straws, seeking

Deliverance from your love will never be

Yet you whisper sweet nothings in my ear

I’m reminded again, how it was when our love first bloomed

Its back to where we started, not drowning in fear

Then I blink and you’re screaming, pain erupts and once again I’m consumed

I’m crying, trying to picture any way out

Say kiss and never tell

I’ll find my haven, a world without you, I have no doubt

Dreaming of a place away from this hell

          Forget my name, forget my face, forget my entire existence

          So long as I live, this is my rebellion, this is my resistance

somethin i haven't done in a while. (WARNING! teenage drama)

i rarely cry, for a teenage girl, i think im pretty whine free. im also not a big spender, i almost never ask for things. i despise the mall, and most any form of shopping is almost as nasty as gym class. but im just rambling, i guess i can hop straight to my reason for posting this. 

  i love to draw, i cant go a day without drawing something. i doodle on everything and go through sketch books like candy. naturally, my parents support this talent of mine (although it took some time) anyway, im in honors classes at school, art classes that is, and i get pretty good grades in all other subjects. (A B student C in math) 

throw in the fact that i rarely ask to do much, i figured when i asked to attempt to get into an art school (thats free i might add) i get shot down. i mean ive been told that im welcome to go to the summer camp. the easy one that is really for anyone. yea, let me tell you, i really wanna go to SUMMER CAMP. so, the teacher recommendations, the help from friends, the pages of paperwork, all of it...a waste. 

  now, why i started with the whole "i rarely cry" thing....like i said, crying, it isnt for me. mama taught the girl at a young age, "crying doesnt solve anything. so stop before i give you a reason to cry"  

well, after sitting in the car and being told no to something that i seriously had my hopes on, i walked into my house, changed into pjs, sat down and did somethin i haven't done in a VERY VERY VERY long time. 

i cried, the tears just spilling down my face. it wasnt a whole dramatic thing with Niagara falls running down my face and accompanied by loud sobs and masses of snot, it was just tears. warm and salty tears leaving tracks on my cheeks. and now that its over, i learned something, crying doesnt solve anything it just makes you feel a whole lot better. i dont expect myself to be crying for everything, but i think i'll let myself show a little weakness. (moms favorite quote "tears are a sign of weakness. im not raising a wimp) 

  so a little piece of my heart has been chipped away, so i showed my weak-side to the wall in my living room. (i have faith it wont spill my secret like i spilled my tears) i think i can move on now. 

ive spilled my thoughts to the net and my tears to my sweater. 

if you read this- yes, its teenage drama. im not sorry if you wasted your time i did say it was just that. and if you read this, thanks for taking a moment of your time to read me whine. 

have a good evening, day, afternoon...whatever. :D 

a simple introduction

the name is tessa. 

this blog will probably be full of randomness. poetry, quotes, even diary-like entries. if i think it i'll probably post it. :D 

im still a youngin (ily uncle norman) so if it gets a bit on the immature side, my apologies. :)

so i guess, that is the end of my intro.