somethin i haven't done in a while. (WARNING! teenage drama)

i rarely cry, for a teenage girl, i think im pretty whine free. im also not a big spender, i almost never ask for things. i despise the mall, and most any form of shopping is almost as nasty as gym class. but im just rambling, i guess i can hop straight to my reason for posting this. 

  i love to draw, i cant go a day without drawing something. i doodle on everything and go through sketch books like candy. naturally, my parents support this talent of mine (although it took some time) anyway, im in honors classes at school, art classes that is, and i get pretty good grades in all other subjects. (A B student C in math) 

throw in the fact that i rarely ask to do much, i figured when i asked to attempt to get into an art school (thats free i might add) i get shot down. i mean ive been told that im welcome to go to the summer camp. the easy one that is really for anyone. yea, let me tell you, i really wanna go to SUMMER CAMP. so, the teacher recommendations, the help from friends, the pages of paperwork, all of it...a waste. 

  now, why i started with the whole "i rarely cry" thing....like i said, crying, it isnt for me. mama taught the girl at a young age, "crying doesnt solve anything. so stop before i give you a reason to cry"  

well, after sitting in the car and being told no to something that i seriously had my hopes on, i walked into my house, changed into pjs, sat down and did somethin i haven't done in a VERY VERY VERY long time. 

i cried, the tears just spilling down my face. it wasnt a whole dramatic thing with Niagara falls running down my face and accompanied by loud sobs and masses of snot, it was just tears. warm and salty tears leaving tracks on my cheeks. and now that its over, i learned something, crying doesnt solve anything it just makes you feel a whole lot better. i dont expect myself to be crying for everything, but i think i'll let myself show a little weakness. (moms favorite quote "tears are a sign of weakness. im not raising a wimp) 

  so a little piece of my heart has been chipped away, so i showed my weak-side to the wall in my living room. (i have faith it wont spill my secret like i spilled my tears) i think i can move on now. 

ive spilled my thoughts to the net and my tears to my sweater. 

if you read this- yes, its teenage drama. im not sorry if you wasted your time i did say it was just that. and if you read this, thanks for taking a moment of your time to read me whine. 

have a good evening, day, afternoon...whatever. :D